Thy Will Be Done
"Adding power makes you faster on the straights. Subtracting weight makes you faster everywhere.", said the man whose initials are engraved in one of the automotive world's most evocative badges.
While the reason for naming his company Lotus was a subject he took to his grave, one can argue that Colin Chapman's legacy and contributions both on the road and on the track are one that leaves him with very little peers. A true genius and master of his craft.
34 years after the death of its founder, Lotus has maintained their mantra of building extremely light cars that are an instrument to pure driving ecstasy, and the Exige S Roadster is certainly no exception.
If you've only seen this car in photos, its size will shock you in the flesh. It is so much smaller than you imagine it to be and it gets a lot smaller when you slide inside. Yes, I said slide. There is no denying that the Exige S is a striking automobile to look at. It may not have the timeless elegance that a Ferrari has, but everywhere I went, mothers, fathers, and children waved and gave me the thumbs up. Kids ran to chase the car down and snap a photo. Dogs wagged their tails. I felt like a million dollars.
Self-conscious material, this car is, but if you're in the mood to wave and smile at people, it's quite a therapeutic experience. It grabbed so much attention that the Porsche 911 next to me in a set of lights didn't have its day under the sun, and that was even prior to tickling the throttle.
"This car was made to electrocute every nerve ending of your body in the best possible way."
So this is what the supercar experience is all about. Now I know that many classify the Exige S Roadster as a topless sports car, but in my book it isn't anything less than a supercar. This Lotus makes a lot of supercars not feel so super.
As soon as you get in the Exige, you feel an immediate sense of purpose, an overwhelming vibe that it only does one thing, and it does it brilliantly. It's not the kind of car wherein you can toss the keys to your mother if she needed to buy some milk from the store.
"You'd forgive Lotus for thinking you were the size of a mouse, because the speed and grace at which you take corners begs belief."
It ticks all the right boxes of supercar quirks. You need to be The Hulk to get yourself out of a parking space, the aircon only works when it's cold outside, the buttons don't work at all, and the boot has a mind of its own. If I'm honest, cement blocks for shocks would've been easier on your spine, and it gulps gasoline quicker than you would your bottomless iced tea.
Gladly, there's a lot of interior space. Unfortunately, I'm not 2 foot 5, so scratch that. There is no space. And because the steering column can't be adjusted at all and neither could the height of my seat, I couldn't completely see the speedometer in front of me - which is a great thing because watching your speed is something you wouldn't wanna do in this car.
In our real Philippine world, where gaping manholes and deadly traffic exist with weather that changes quicker than Taylor Swift can change boyfriends, the Lotus Exige S Roadster is deemed categorically useless. It will be undrivable.
Although a day in the month will come and you'll wake up on the right side of the bed, find the sun peeking through your window, feel the gentle breeze, and you'll fancy a drive. It is only in that moment that nothing in this world other than an Exige S Roadster would do.
On that perfect day, you'd have the patience to understand why so many little bits in the car aren't built properly. You'd forgive the aircon for leaving you for dead, because you'd have million miles of headroom anyway. You'd forgive Lotus for thinking you were the size of a mouse, because the speed and grace at which you take corners begs belief.
And never mind that if you were my height you'd have to drive this car squatting, because after frighteningly stitching a series of corners together and realizing that you didn't even scratch the surface of the car's limits - you'd be in perfect seating position to shit your pants. After this, you'd understand that this car was made to do one thing only - to electrocute every nerve ending of your body.
"You can get it with an automatic gearbox with paddle shifters, but why would you? This is as Ferrari F40 as it gets in modern times."
The heart that beats this car to life is a Toyota derived 3.5-liter V6 with Lotus wizardry and a supercharger. I can promise you that it sounds absolutely amazing. It's properly loud even on idle and it has an old school soundtrack, one that isn't drowned out completely by a valve activated exhaust. So when you launch the car to 100 km/h in less than 4 seconds, you get a beautiful soundtrack of mechanical induction noise and a proper howl from exhaust pipes.
Amazingly, this car is equipped with a 6-speed manual gearbox, which means that every time you downshift, you can execute proper heel-and-toe shifting, and reward yourself with beautiful zings as you blip the throttle before swapping cogs. It is the only way to go with the Exige. You can get it with an automatic gearbox with paddle shifters, but why would you? This is as Ferrari F40 as it gets in modern times.
"If you don't feel like living very long, you can switch everything off. When you do, you'll forever remember that nothing on Earth handles like a Lotus."
While everything in the car may seem like a revival from the days of yore, there is nothing old-fashioned about its Dynamic Performance Management system, Lotus' version of an electronic stability program. You can leave it on Tour, which is standard and dials down everything or you can have it in Sport, which leaves the exhaust valves open, tightens up the suspension, and sharpens the engine response.
On Sport mode, the computers allow you to break enough traction to get yourself into a slide that makes you look a like a hero, but not long enough to watch you become the villain. The sophisticated ESP system allows you to pretty much wag your tail while it holds your hand. If you don't feel like living very long, you can switch everything off. When you do, you'll forever remember that nothing on Earth handles like a Lotus. The chassis is gold.
The Lotus Exige S Roadster is probably the most hardcore topless thing on the planet. One can argue that there are some roadsters and spiders that are faster and even more exotic. However, while they're blasting through a mountain pass and tapping on paddles with their smug faces on, you'll be shaking hands with a gear lever, an old friend, swapping cogs and sweating profusely, and having the time of your life.
At the end of that drive, you'll know that all the fun that you were rewarded with was a result of the amount of work that you put in. After all, isn't that what true driving ecstasy is all about? In conclusion, the Exige S Roadster is like an adorable tantrum-throwing toddler. It's annoying most of the time, but if they tried to take it away from you, you'd kill them. It is pure love. Thank you for your genius, Mr. Chapman. Thy will was done.